I just need to vent about IT. Now that I’m actually channeling the frustration into writing about IT, my emotions appear to have escalated to unreasonable levels. The incredibly long hours I’ve been logging at work have coincided with my being required to spend more time with IT, and my frustration has evolved into what is likely a demented resentment for those responsible. For example, the extra time with IT has resulted in this crazy notion that the very purpose of IT’s existence is to inflict unnecessary pain, to establish unreasonably confining boundaries, and ultimately to crush my independent spirit...crazy right? That particular thought process however is just one of the many signs of my over-worked and under-rested mind, because the IT to which I refer is my bra!!
That’s right - call it what you want ladies - "brassiere", "bra", "breast-supporter", or a personal favorite from my granddaughter, "booby-belt". Doesn’t matter what label you may use because for me, it’s nothing more than an instrument of torture. Now this may have something to do with my current one being a fairly new acquisition so I’ve tried to give it some time, but this scratchy, inhibiting, beastly under-garment is so binding and constrictive that I just knew a woman (who would of course be wearing one all day) could never have been its creator or founder. So began my research...
In my sort-of-genealogy study, I discovered ancestors of the booby-belt dating back to 2500 BC, which were worn by Minoan women to "lift and expose". My studies also uncovered that ancient Greek and Roman women, in order to minimize their size, would strap bands over their busts to "rein them in" (a direct quote). Do you think any of them (Minoan, Greek or Roman) did this all by themselves, or were they compelled?
There you have it; those ancient-time-girlfriends who betrayed us by originating the practice of mammary-gland bondage!!
Alas for now, I have reconciled myself to cultural submission because when I compare myself to those who surround me, I seem to be alone in my overwhelming feelings of stifling restraint. But I know in my heart of hearts there simply MUST be an option more "fitting" my individuality, so in the meantime I am pro-actively exploring alternatives that will "set mine free" and allow this caged-bird to fly again! (Whew...it feels good to get that off my chest!)
9 comments:
Hilarious. I'm totally in for a good bra-burning. I can't believe that you actually researched IT!! Maybe one of the kids can use that topic for a research paper for school.
Why must "IT" always have to be in control? I say who cares...Men talk about "free-ballin'" why can't we? I for one say, take a stand and not let "IT" dictate your day! In fact, I say rip it off quick like a band-aid. Let them hang low and wobble to and fro, tie them in a knot, heck tie them in a bow. Throw them over your shoulder like a .....oh wait I've gone too far!
I love you!
Kathy, thank you for coming out of lurking! This post is hilarious. Perhaps if I wore my bra more often, the girls wouldn't be down to my knees.
I'm adding you to my Reader and I will be back!
let's start a revolution and wave around our burning bras like burning flags on ten foot poles.
Kathy I go with out a bra all the time...in fact I went without one today and it was wonderful.....except for the part where my milk let down while shopping in Nordstrom...yes my boobies were weeping:)
Kathy, I have been looking for my BRA everywhere, could you plese give me the location to the city that I left it in. Good thing it was clean now that it is drapped over the whole town. Jen and I are looking at all the blogs, so I had to respond to you.
Love,
Nakkole
Actually here in China the bra has been outlawed since the cultural revolution. Chairman Mao saw them as a "bourgeois tradition", and had them banned in 1971. Now the only time you see them here is when they are being used as either a slingshot or a basket of sorts.
Also, yes, you are a very good detective Kathy! Look for a blog to be posted soon that will rock your world! Until then, let me just give you a little preview: May 4th, SLC, baby, boy!
You are one funny lady Kathy! Sheesh! I say let em breath....just watch out for chafing problems. Good luck you wild woman you!
Ha ha that is so freaking funny. You also forgot to mention the fact that if you want a some what comfortable "IT" you have to spend a good $60 at Victoria Secret.
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